Want to feel selfish? Be a parent.

[I'm starting to sort through the posts in my "draft" section.... this one was started months ago! But it's a truth that I am still learning. Enjoy...]

A tiny person named Obi has taught me so much about myself. Namely, he's taught me how selfish I am.

Before Obi, I LOVED going to Target by myself.  I know a lot of women can relate to me on this "Target Therapy."  Something about the bright lights, wide aisles, the nifty red cruiser-carts, cute throw pillows, and the red clearance stickers...  Only one thing would make this city's Target better: a Starbucks (instead of the awkward Target "snack shop") Oh yes, and a "Super" in front of "Target."  Oh well, can't have it all.

It was so easy to go places and I never though twice about driving across the road to another store.
I loved thrift shopping and would sometimes hit all 5 that I love in this city in one day.
I also loved cleaning and decorating and making my house a home.
In college, I loved going to Borders book store and flipping through magazines in a comfy chair. (RIP Borders stores)
I could get ready in the morning so fast after accepting a last-minute sub job.
I enjoyed laying out in the sun getting a tan.
It was fun to see movies in an actual theater.
Oh the days of a long shower and shaving my entire leg, not just the knees-down.

I really miss those things! Since a baby, my Target trips are very "to the point" and I look at only what is on my list.  Oh yeah, and now lists are a must because I can never remember what I need.  And the list has things like "the white package non-scented boogie wipes" on them. Thrift stores are only possible with baby-wearing in those cluttered aisles.  Good thing Ben has made a movie theater in our basement because now that's impossible.  There's a constant "game plan" in my mind of when I fed him last, when he'll be tired-therefore when he'll be fussy, when he'll need to eat next... etc.

When I think about these things that I miss, my selfishness is embarrassingly obvious.  I coveted my alone time and the simplicity of life.

And I only have ONE baby and he takes at least two naps a day!!

Slowly, these things are becoming more possible. And even enjoyable.  If I want to leisurely walk around the mall and buy nothing... I want to do it with my baby because I can justify that trip as "getting the baby out of the house."  I only go places when I know he'll be awake because he's so happy to be out.  Grocery shopping is fun with him.  The constant "game planning" now comes to me so naturally. Sometimes I think more about when he needs to eat next that I forget about when I may need to eat next.
 Putting him to bed has become SO easy that babysitters are a possibility. Napping has also become SO much better (like put-him-in-his-crib-and-leave easy).

It's a combination of turning the infant into the baby... and getting past the 1st time mom learning curve/shock.

But mostly, it's sacrifice.  Many people who haven't even experienced salvation through the ultimate sacrifice of God's son will tell you that having children requires sacrifice- but that it's SO worth it.

Learning true sacrifice for another comes with friendships/family/dating relationships/marriage... it makes you be something else.  Marriage made me be a wife. This baby boy made me be a mom. But being a mom doesn't replace my titles of wife/sister/friend/daughter/etc.  It just adds to it. Each new role requires you to adapt to changes and make those changes the "new normal."
Being made a wife was exciting and I could converse with the one [husband] who brought about the changes and my necessary adaptation and sacrifice. Being made a mom was also exciting... but probably more exhausting if I'm honest... and you can't converse with the one [baby] who has caused all the changes. I mean, they are tiny people who act entirely on a series of reflexes. Thus, sacrifice is necessary.

I've noticed that I've started to say "we" instead of "me."  "We'll return the Redbox today." "When we went to the store..." "When we ate lunch.... "   This kid is my little sidekick in everything I do all day.  It may seem like my perspective in life has gotten so small and so focused on this one mini-person and everything to do with a baby.  But "mom" is just being lined up with all my other titles.

Has my perspective narrowed? I don't think so at all. My ability to love has grown so much (and I can tell it's not done growing) and that has made me a better and broader person. Sacrifice for a worthy cause is always worth it.

tiny Obi pictures

Just taking a step back to the days of Obi-infancy. This may have been brought about by the fact that this baby is 9 months old is less than a week. Oh how I miss that black baby hair... but I do love the smiles from today!

getting stuck

what's up- my name is obi and i've learned how to scoot backwards this week.  it's super frustrating and i keep getting stuck under things.  dad laughs at me and mom grabs the camera. whatever, learned to smile and then they eventually rescue me.  they keep talking about this thing "crawl" and i don't even know.  it's feels cool to get my stomach off the ground but that usually ends in getting stuck under something. gotta go-- my toys are bored without me.  ...baby out.

notice my striped blue sock... hate those things-- love to pull them off and eat them.

here, i was escaping from getting pj's on, so i think i meant to do this. i was hiding. they don't let me wear just my skin enough.

notice the red "dirt devil" in the background. also hate that thing. it's been sitting there all weekend just ready to roar at me. dad took me downstairs to play and when i come back up it was gone. mysterious. 

i just burped and next thing i knew there was this super cool squishy stuff that was awesome to smoosh around.

when an infant becomes a baby

Infants grow into babies and they get easier. I promise you, infant mothers, it does get easier.  I didn't notice it was easier because I'm with this infant/baby everyday.
But reflecting on the newborn/infant days has helped me get a lot of perspective on this thing called parenthood.  (not the show, Parenthood, though it is my current fave) Things change SO fast. Actually, we were able to leave Obi with the grandmas for a weekend while we went to a friend's wedding and shopping (of course).  This was the longest I've been away from him and not having my baby around brought a taste of what life was like before him. I almost forgot what life was like.  But I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything!

I'm glad I recently remembered this... Infant-Obi had his version of a Google calendar for a while. I was concerned he wasn't sleeping enough so I started to chart it out on Google calendar so I could visually see and add up the hours.  It was also to see if there were any patterns starting.  Well, there wasn't and his sleep was probably fine.

I think that Obi has slept the same amount of time during a 24 period from when he was a newborn to now.  So back then, it was on the low end.  Now, it is on the high end. Whatever.

It was fun to think about what Obi was doing 5 months ago... and what he's doing now.  I think I remember going for 3 different walks on June 5th. It brought both me and Obi some needed fresh air.  Thankful for a walk-able neighborhood!!

But now fast forward to the no-longer-infant-Obi... Here's a picture I took this morning.   I put Obi on the white carpet and he wiggled and rolled his way under his dresser.  He doesn't crawl yet, but he's a good scooter.  Also, notice a pile of his spit up and him smearing it on the hardwood.  I was in the room the whole time putting his clothes away... but somehow I missed how he got underneath the dresser. I heard him spit up and that's when I looked down.

Only a few short months from working hard to soothe this baby to sleep... to working hard to keep this baby entertained when he's awake!  

Obi's laugh does exist

Wow- 6 months is SO fun!!  I love it.  I'm sure I probably said that about 3 months, and 4 months... maybe, just maybe, I even said it about 3 weeks. But I was probably still speaking out of delirium or something then.   I hope each new phase will be my new favorite :)

Did you know that I was voted "Best Laugh" in high school?  I had a loud laugh and I probably laughed in the cafeteria the instant people were voting. Because it's really not that weird- but I suppose I've probably toned down a little since my younger years.

Here's the real news.  My child does laugh.  It is a crazy inhale-laugh that is unique to only him and who knows if it will stick. So I had to record it.

(Bear with me and my unkempt hair and self recording skills)

Isn't is hilarious?  How about he part where he chokes on his own laugh.  He'll figure it out one of these days.

His sense of humor is starting to come out when he laughs at random things while not being tickled.  He's laughed at me a couple times from his high chair when walk to open the fridge and once when I shut the car door after getting him in.  You know, like really funny stuff. 

This one is at Ben trying to juggle little rattle ping-pong balls.(....which are actually cat toys that I got free when I bought cat food- but cat could care less and Obi is thrilled with anything) 

Bieber baby

Our Halloween approach this year was to keep it simple and use what you got.  And we've got a baby with Bieber hair.  Then I just fashioned some dog-tag necklace out of tin foil and put it on one of my necklaces.

 He's not going trick-or-treating anyways, as if he could stay up that long anyways.  In fact, yesterday he fell asleep for the night at 5:30!! Which is 4:30 after the time change this weekend...  I've never thought about and anticipated daylight savings time as much as I have this year!  We'll have to rework some things to make sure his night doesn't start in the afternoon.  I knew he was tired and figured it'd just be a quick snooze before bedtime-- but he stayed asleep for the next 7 hours. He had a long few days so he needed some extra sleep. And he still slept till 7:30am. I swear every week brings about a new "thing" concerning Obi that keeps me on my toes!  

 How do you think we did??  

funny baby

(Ok, I know I'm becoming the one who can't blog, post, comment, or whatever.... about anything but my baby.  But seriously, this baby is a large part of my life and he's adorable.  And you know you want to see it, right?? :)

He doesn't giggle, he grunts and growls. Is this the beginnings of raising a boy??

I don't know why Obi does this, but it's hilarious.  One thing that can typically ensure smiles and excitement is putting a blanket or something on his face and pulling it off quickly.  Lately, he's been doing this funny grunting thing where he holds his breath and acts like he's filling his diaper. And, that is quite possibly what he might be doing.  He went from having a few dirty diapers a day to now a few a week.  TMI? eh, baby poo is a part of my life now :)

Anyways, I feel like he only does this when he's super excited or trying to laugh.  I have almost an identical video of this from about a month ago where every time the blanket came off his face he got this look of shock and then did his little throat growl.

Funny funny child.  I'm loving this age, he gets a little more hilarious ever day!

"four - months - old!"

Sometimes we sit around the house and fist pump while chanting "Four - months- old!"  It gets some pretty good smiles out of him.  And it is an achievement!!  For me, not so much Obi.  He just had to grow-- and I had to grow him!  

15 1/2 pounds..... 75th percentile  (exact same percentile as his 2 month weight!)

26 inches long........85th percentile

16 1/2 inches head circumference...... 50th percentile

This is a good picture to show that from month 3 to 4... his hands are usually in his mouth.  

 And the next pictures show that this boy is beginning to move! 

Here he is lunging forward...

And opting for some tummy time with his bear.   

His hair is as great as ever.  Yesterday I cut the hair of BOTH of the boys in my house.  I had better actually learn how to do that well...  

He still just rolls from front to back.  From his back, he rolls to his side in a cuddle position when he sleeps, but doesn't get all the way over yet.  

Note to new parents....   Doctor's ask you a whole checklist of things that your child should be doing.  I'm pretty sure it's designed to make new parents worry and think the worst. Ha!   But, as with anything, I'm learning that all is OK :) 

And, well, Obi doesn't giggle.  I don't think.  I don't know what his giggle sounds like!  He does a breathy/gurgle/growl noise.  And he's squealed a couple times.  But I really don't think I'd say it's a giggle.  He will, I know.  But that was one of the "checklist items" that he didn't pass.  

It's funny how the things that made us go "Quick, look!" "Did you hear that??" ... are now just normal. The cooing, squealing, batting at toys... are just normal now! 

And here are the first four months...  I like watching his thighs grow :)

   

the hair

These are two different babies... 

Guess who is who??  

I'm on the left and Obi is on the right.  I was born at good pound more than Obi! 

But now you know where he got his amazing hair.  Random little known fact.... I was voted "best hair" of my high school class.  And now everyday I rock the mom-messy-bun look. Oh well....

I prayed for a baby with lots of hair.  And people wonder if God hears our prayers.... :)

I don't think I've gone out in public with Obi and not gotten a comment about his hair. Most people say, "What a lot of hair!" Some ask if she was born with all that hair. I say it's a boy and yes he was :)  Can boys not be beautiful?? sheeesh.  I think its funny when strangers ask  me if I had lots of heartburn. Which I sorta did, more reflux at night.  But probably not more than the average preggo. 

 Needless to saw, this head of hair attracts a lot of attention.  Sometimes Obi goes out in public under blankets or his car seat cover-up because I feel like I'm parading around a zoo animal by the amount of stares, smiles, comments, and petting he gets.  Just please step aside so I can reach the string cheese shelf, people. I feel like a celebrity shielding my child from the public eye. At least I didn't name him Blanket. 

Anyways...  I thought it'd be fun to do a post looking back on the almost 4 months of Obi hair. Here goes...

Here he is at just a few days old after his first at-home sponge bath. 

Then at 7 weeks old I started to realize that things are getting a little out of control...

Yes, baby mullet and sideburns to the max. 

More of a "little boy" look going on after that.  The length was still a little long. 

So at about 12 weeks, I decided to trim up the length on the sides.  And with that, went the dark ends since it's growing in blonde.

The towel of his hair clippings. 

He sits in the bumbo and watches TV when I trim his hair.  And I've ended up doing it over the course of a few days when I notice pieces that need a trim. 

We watched a lot of Olympics when his hair got trimmed. He has two little swirls in the back of his head. And not a hair has fallen out or rubbed off.  Despite the how adamant my neighbor lady was when Obi was a week old that "Oh, it'll all just fall out. Happens to every baby."   Nope, careful with those generalizations! 

This last picture was about a week ago at 15 weeks.  The top of his hair sticks up about 3 inches so it makes his head look huge.  However, at his 2 month appointment his head measured in the 35th percentile while his length and weight were both 75th percentile.

So there you have it.  My little hipster-hair, ombre-colored, stylish stickin adorable Obi :) 

how he rolls

This is what happened yesterday!  But he hasn't figured out that he can do it today. And he only rolls left.  I really didn't practice tummy time regularly... maybe a few times a week? and only for a few minutes before he'd get so mad at me.  "Lady, get me up! this is super uncomfortable and awkward!!" He always spits up when he's on his stomach. Now he enjoys it a lot more! Still spits up. 

 I did have witnesses before I grabbed the camera!  This is the first real milestone that daddy missed.  Of course, Obi did it again that evening with Ben-- but it still wasn't the first time.  It makes me, again, really thankful that Ben has a job he enjoys and I am able to be home with Obi.

 I feel like the 3 month turn has brought so many instant changes.  He's sucking on his hands and lots of other things are finding his mouth.  He's napping well.  And I suppose we've both had 3 months to figure that out too.  But he's getting up more during the night-- hoping that's a temporary growth spurt thing!! Really hoping that... I've tried it all (without feeding formula) ...evening cluster feeding, watching that he doesn't nap forever in the evening, the "dream feed", dream feed with a bottle, not feeding him when he wakes us (resulting in waking up in 2 hrs or waking up ready for the day at 5am). 

Though he's truly not horrible, night time sleeping is one of those issues where I need to put down the books (*cough* Baby Wise...) and tell myself that he's a baby.  My ultimate goal in raising this baby is not to get him to sleep through the night.  That is a goal and it will happen, I know, but it seems the more books I read and the more people I talk to about it-- the more "sleeping through the night" seems like the standard of enjoying my baby.  Mothers should not hear what their baby "should be doing."   (...Note to myself when talking to new mothers in the future... )

That darn comparison complex follows me wherever I go.

I really can handle getting up once in the night and I am always able to function on whatever sleep I'm allowed the night before. And as long as I'm doing the best I know how, Obi will do exactly what he's supposed to do. 

And even though my baby doesn't sleep 10 hrs straight at night.....  he is super strong :) We've almost never had to carefully watch supporting his neck/head.  He LOVES to stand.  I swear I am simply stabilizing him in this picture. 

 

Here's to rolling, standing, sleeping, eating, cooing, pooping, peeing, slobbering, and all the other baby things that go on in my house! 

loving it

When a baby gets past the "newborn needy" stage and a parent gets past the "I don't know what I'm doing" stage.... things get fun!  And I'm loving it.

And sometimes you need to do random things to make the day even more fun.  So Obi took a bath one afternoon.

I'm loving wrinkly baby bottoms. 

He's loving to kick in the water.

I'm loving the hair after bathtime.  Obi is not loving the pink towel. 

I'm loving dressing him up :)  And I'm loving 75cent totally impractical baby bath robes :)  

... and Obi is not loving the bathrobe.  Just keeping it real over here!